Why Is It So Hard To Change? 

A few days ago, I found out that a dear friend who was more like a brother to me passed away.

While I am still processing everything…my heart is broken, but my spirit is strong.

What continues to resonate in my head and in my heart is this simple phrase:

We only have one life and we play a major part in how we choose to live it.

In last week’s email, I asked you to see if your check engine light was on and I challenged you to do something about it. I actually got 24 email responses from people who thanked me for that email and shared what they planned on doing to prioritize their health.

This week, I want to share with you that I know that change can be hard. 

Your life is busy. You have a lot on your plate. You are doing the best you can with the resources that you currently have at your disposal. And you also know that you have to make some changes, as it relates to your well-being.

One principle that I stand by is this…There is no change without action.

You can think about it, journal about it, dream about it, and hope for it to happen, but until you actually do something, nothing changes.

So, why is it so hard to change?

Here are the top 3 reasons I have seen when it comes to my own clients that I work with:

  1. Fear of Failure – “What if I fail?” or “I’ve tried this (or something like this) before and it wasn’t sustainable.” are phrases tied to fear of being unsuccessful. It can be easy to equate failure to succeed at something new with being a failure. Luckily, that is not true. You are not a failure, it just means that you may need more support, more time, or try a new method that is more sustainable for you.
  2. Fear of Lost Identity – “This is just who I am!” or “I’ve been doing this for so long, I’ve made my peace with this.” are phrases that imply that your identity is tied to a habit or lifestyle that you have adopted. By changing the habit or lifestyle, creates fear that it will change who you are at the core. Again, not true. You are not your habits. You are more than your habits, just as you are more than your failures. Changing habits can be a great way to lean deeper into who you truly are when you are at your best!
  3. Fear of Uncertainty: “If I make this change, then what??” or “What if I cannot sustain this change?” are phrases that are tied to uncertainty. You want to know that this will work and you want to know how it all plays out. Bet on yourself, because you are the most important project to invest in. When you make a positive change in your life, it will be uncomfortable…at first…but the return on that investment will be worth it. I have yet to have a client say “I totally regret developing a healthier habit.”

Make today, the day that you decide that you will make one change that will lead you to a healthier, happier, and more fulfilled life.

It doesn’t have to be a big change, it can be the smallest action. Even the smallest positive habit done consistently over time will make a big impact.